9/17 principle 1

I am trying. The hardest part is to stop complaining. Honestly, I didn't think I was a complainer. I asked my husband to point it out to me if he caught me complaining and he said I wasn't really a complainer. But I am. Everyday I come home and complain about work. Everyday when someone is complaining about their husband I join in.

So I made some decisions. I may have mentioned this before but I have a great job, with a great company where I am treated fantastically. I love the family that owns the company. I still don't think it's what I am meant to do. As the bible says I need to get.... about my Father's business. I should do what I think I am supposed to do. I am starting back to college in January. I plan to get an associate's degree and become a physical therapist assistant. I am also writing... here. As I tell people these plans, they give me great input on how to achieve my goals. Yay and more yay! You'd think I'd stop complaining.

But some of the people I work with drive me a little nuts. I let them because I don't want to hurt their feelings. Because maybe that would be more stressful to know every time I saw them that they didn't like me and I hurt their feelings than it is to put up with their behavior that I don't like. What if I try to say something to them and get so mad I say something crazy and I get fired. (When you write it down that sounds really dumb). But I had been thinking while I worked my plan to get out of here I could still complain about the people that annoy me. Why not? I'm also taking action and that was what I was supposed to do right?

Sigh, no, I don't think that's how it works. I am still going to have to address the behavior that bothers me instead of just running from it or God will keep trying to teach me that lesson. And I am tired of working on this lesson.

As for my husband, I think he's great. Although, since he lives with me and we spend gobs of time together... sometimes he gets on my nerves. I am trying to not just go around dogging him because he doesn't deserve that. Sometimes when other women tell me they feel the same way about their husbands I feel better. It's not just us. It's normal. All of this makes me think there is too much gray area. If I just talk about him to help someone else feel better, does that count as complaining? I think I will just have to stop and examine my motives. If I am just sharing life experience with someone and it's not really an issue anymore... that's probably ok. If I am mad and haven't talked to him and am talking to someone else instead... that's probably not ok.