Gavin Fritz Cagle

I have a new dog. You may not know this about me (if you don't know me at all) but I love animals. All animals. I think dogs may be my favorite. I know it's cheesy to say they are "man's best friend" but I was an only child and not very cool as a kid and my dog Jake really was my best friend. Mom had to put him up to spank me. He followed me everywhere and protected me. He slept in my bed. He listened to me all day long. He did goofy things that made me laugh. When I was sad he was just there. He was awesome.

My husband has never had a dog in the house, so he doesn't really get how awesome they can be. We have 2 outdoor dogs. They are great dogs. But it's not the same as when one lives with you like you are family. I have just convinced him to let me have one inside after trying for 15 years. WOOHOO!

Yesterday I found the perfect dog for my super anal husband. He's 3 years old (past the age of tearing stuff up for fun). He's a schnauzer so he doesn't shed. He's housebroken. He was free. Also he had a sad story and my husband is a softie that pretends he's not.

Poor Fritz though, he's a little freaked out. His people gave him and his brother up because they are moving. So he lost everything he knows yesterday and is stuck with us. He's terrified. There's me, my husband, my son, my daughter, my cat, my two other dogs and the plethora of people we usually have at the house for him to deal with.

But here's what I know... it's going to work out. The cat may never want to spoon him but they will eventually tolerate each other. The other dogs will accept him once they realize he's ours. My kids and husband will finally know why I cried so hard at Marley and Me. In a week or two we will have our own routine and all will be awesome.

That was not my exact experience last night though. He chased the cat, barked at the other dogs, shot out of bed at 5:30 clearly excited about something and wouldn't eat at all.

Turns out I am not center of the Universe

So a couple months after my daughter was born I picked out her husband. Lovely boy, good family, good genes... etc. As they've gotten older, I stand by that choice. He's a good-looking, sweetheart of a kid and they are best friends. Naturally, they are not interested in marrying each other.

My daughter keeps picking boys that are borderline juvenile delinquents. Not bad kids necessarily, but not what I have in mind for her. (Naturally, since I believe her to be perfect I have this HUGE checklist of noble qualities & ambitions her boyfriends should all have.) I also kind of think that who she dates is a reflection on me. Like I have raised her to only feel comfortable with these delinquent type kids. So in the midst of one of my lectures to her (which by the way, are kind of never-ending) I drop that statement in. My child looks me in the face and says quite nicely, "You know, sometimes I just do things because I want to. Not everything is about you."

A few days later my best friend gives me a book to read. It's about these two best friends. She says she really relates to one of the characters (Wendy). So I read the book. The whole time I am thinking, well if she's Wendy then she must think I am Daphne. Daphne is a big flake and kind of a pain in Wendy's butt. They "break up" at the end. I am a little offended through the whole thing. "Is this how she sees us? Does she not really want to be my friend anymore? We've been friends since 6th grade what a weird way to tell me."

I finish the book, and as I give it back to her I ask these questions. Guess what? Not about me AT ALL! The stuff about Wendy that she related to had nothing to do with the friendship part. I didn't even notice that stuff because I was so focused on what she might be saying about me.

Last night, we are out to dinner and drinks with a few friends. My husband makes a joke about blowing out his liver... how he wants us all to sit around saying how crazy he was and how much fun we always had with him. I have an absolute fit when we get in the car because all I hear is "I care more about drinking than I do sticking around to be with you. How you will feel when I am gone isn't important." Turns out he was actually just making a joke. He is not trying to drink himself to death. And he likes being with me more than anything in the world... which is something he says EVERY DAY!

So apparently I am a complete egomaniac! I guess I should be grateful to finally have my eyes opened to it. Especially since it is kind of a relief. I can just go ahead and be me instead of worrying how every move I make might affect someone else. Turns out (much to my surprise) they are all doing their best to be themselves... they are not spending near as much time thinking about me as I think they are. Wow. Cool.

ADD

Like seven times today I thought... "oh that's funny, that would be something I could write about in my blog/journal." But I didn't write any of them down and I have ADD so now I've got... well practically nothing again. I only have 700 ways to remember things these days (reminder in my phone, program online, calendar that sends me emails, or good old fashioned paper) clearly I can't be blamed for forgetting every thought I had today.

I did come home and have a glass of champagne today. My dad asked what the occasion was and I said cuz I like champagne. Also, somedays you just need to celebrate life, no REAL occasion, just wow how lucky am I that my life is awesome for awesome? (not my expression, stole it from Homestar http://homestarrunner.com/)

And actually I had half a glass of champagne mixed with half a glass of Diet Mtn Dew because I have a serious Diet Mtn Dew addiction. I add it to anything I possibly can. My fav is Diet Mtn Dew and cherry limeade. Man, that's good stuff. Must write myself a note somewhere to get one tomorrow. I am thinking maybe everyone should have one glass of champagne everyday. Maybe before work. I have been silly. I've laughed REALLY HARD with my kids. I've danced around like an idiot. According to Chip I've made a terrible mess in the kitchen while fixing supper. Wait... I do that stuff everyday. Maybe everyone should have one Diet Mtn Dew a day. hmmm, something to think about.

Hahahaha

Ok so like I said the chick in the movie took on some project so she had something to write about every day. I DEFINITELY can't work my way through a cookbook. Ugh... GROSS! I recently made muffins for a friend of mine for his birthday. Muffins from a mix, no less. They were tiny, burnt and just wrong. They were ridiculed for the entire day. We began to call them "blackened mini muffins" at some point. But hey, I tried. I got up early and did something for a friend. Sure that friend wishes I hadn't but still... I tried. Another friend still talks about my famous tuna casserole with goldfish crackers. I wasn't good at finding things in the grocery store and made some bad substitutions. But I digress.

My point here is... I think I quit keeping a journal because I ran out of things to say. I am hoping eventually it will all come back to me. The ability to write, think deep weird thoughts, entertain people. It seems like I used to be able to do that. Where did it go? We'll see if I have anything tomorrow.

Julie & Julie

Just watched that movie... not something I was interested in at all. But it was Megan's birthday and she picked the movie. In case you haven't seen the previews it's about Julia Childs and a chick named Julie that makes all the recipes in Julia's cookbook in a year and blogs about it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjvJHsJD8ic

First of all, I just want to say, surprisingly great movie. I was on the verge of tears the whole time. But it wasn't sad. You just get to see these two women (both real by the way, based on two true stories) living great lives.

Julia is just completely freaking joyful. She talked about leaping out of bed while she was going to this cooking class and I turned 5 shades of green with envy. She has a great marriage. She lives this awesome life, seeming to embrace every moment until her 90's.

Julie just became the person she'd been trying to become... in a year. Also, had a great marriage.

I am very happy in my life. I have a great marriage. Fantastic kids. Nice job. Awesome church. Lovely house. Really, truly blessed in every way. Yet, I do no leap out of bed. I have not figured myself out, been trying way longer than a year. I don't think there is anyway possible I could blog everyday for a year and hold ANYONE'S interest.

I am actually only "blogging" tonight because I have been thinking about starting to keep a journal. Only I seem to have developed this one "old woman hand" that hurts when I do various things (like straighten my hair, squeeze out shampoo, open soda bottles, normal stuff that I should be able to do) and I think writing something this long would hurt said "old woman hand". Also, I am pretty sure nobody reads this. So seems to be the perfect place to break down my thoughts. lol.

Ok, it's a start. See ya tomorrow.