The more I thought about it

The better the "camp counselor" idea sounded. I went online a little and tried to find something like Outward Bound only locally. On the way home from work that night I hear about the Mustard Seed Ranch in Cookeville! So I email them asking if they have any job openings. No word yet. I really expected an answer. Even if it was "no we don't have any openings" or maybe "have you tried these people...." or "there might be something in the future if you get ____ certificate or take ____ class." But instead it's been nothing. I guess since I'd never heard of the place until the day I decide I want to be a camp counselor I thought it would lead somewhere. Seemed so perfect, ya know?

Anyway, the second thing in this chapter is to write your life purpose statement.

You list two of your unique personal qualities... strength and energy.

Then list one or two ways you enjoy expressing those qualities when interacting with others... encourage and inspire.

Then you assume the world is a perfect place. What does the world look like, how is everyone interacting? Write your answer as a statement describing the ultimate condition, the perfect world as you see it... Everyone is happy and full of life and love.

Last, you combine all three into a single statement. My purpose is to use my strength and energy to encourage and inspire others to get the most out of life and love each other.

Principle 2 Be Clear Why You're Here

This one is fairly simple to understand. You are supposed to figure out your life purpose. Hooray, I've been trying to do that for 25 years. Apparently we are all born with an inner guidance system that tells us when we are on or off purpose... it's joy. So now you are supposed to make a list of the things that bring you the most joy...

my kids
other kids
dogs
all animals
swimming
writing
rowing
painting (whole walls, not pictures)
planting stuff
building stuff
anything that has me moving and I can see improvement when I'm done.
chasing lightning bugs
riding a horse
riding a 4-wheeler in the snow, pulling a sledder

sounds like I should work at a summer camp.

9/17 principle 1

I am trying. The hardest part is to stop complaining. Honestly, I didn't think I was a complainer. I asked my husband to point it out to me if he caught me complaining and he said I wasn't really a complainer. But I am. Everyday I come home and complain about work. Everyday when someone is complaining about their husband I join in.

So I made some decisions. I may have mentioned this before but I have a great job, with a great company where I am treated fantastically. I love the family that owns the company. I still don't think it's what I am meant to do. As the bible says I need to get.... about my Father's business. I should do what I think I am supposed to do. I am starting back to college in January. I plan to get an associate's degree and become a physical therapist assistant. I am also writing... here. As I tell people these plans, they give me great input on how to achieve my goals. Yay and more yay! You'd think I'd stop complaining.

But some of the people I work with drive me a little nuts. I let them because I don't want to hurt their feelings. Because maybe that would be more stressful to know every time I saw them that they didn't like me and I hurt their feelings than it is to put up with their behavior that I don't like. What if I try to say something to them and get so mad I say something crazy and I get fired. (When you write it down that sounds really dumb). But I had been thinking while I worked my plan to get out of here I could still complain about the people that annoy me. Why not? I'm also taking action and that was what I was supposed to do right?

Sigh, no, I don't think that's how it works. I am still going to have to address the behavior that bothers me instead of just running from it or God will keep trying to teach me that lesson. And I am tired of working on this lesson.

As for my husband, I think he's great. Although, since he lives with me and we spend gobs of time together... sometimes he gets on my nerves. I am trying to not just go around dogging him because he doesn't deserve that. Sometimes when other women tell me they feel the same way about their husbands I feel better. It's not just us. It's normal. All of this makes me think there is too much gray area. If I just talk about him to help someone else feel better, does that count as complaining? I think I will just have to stop and examine my motives. If I am just sharing life experience with someone and it's not really an issue anymore... that's probably ok. If I am mad and haven't talked to him and am talking to someone else instead... that's probably not ok.

Chapter 1 Take 100% Responsiblilty for Your Life

The book's title is The Success Principles. Underneath that it says How to Get from Where you Are to Where You Want to Be. Who doesn't want to know how to do that? The thing is the book is HUGE. 64 Chapters, over 450 pages... not a big print on those pages either. If you want to do this thing you are really going to have to invest yourself in it.
The book starts out with an inspirational introduction. It explains how the principles always work if you work them. It gives you a few little tips... underline & highlight stuff, make notes, get an accountability partner, truly change your behavior, don't get too frustrated if it doesn't happen on your schedule. Then the quote "It's time to start living the life you've imagined." Which is awesome, thank you very much Henry James.
Now... on to Principle 1... sounds easy enough doesn't it? It's not. He says You are responsible for the quality of life you live. Yup, I knew that. You can't blame the economy, your friends, your spouse, your parents, etc. Yup, I knew that too. Here's where it got hard for me. You can no longer blame, complain, or make excuses.
To change your life, you change your negative thoughts to positive ones, change what you daydream about, change your habits, change what you read, change your friends, change how you talk. Because if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got.
Give up blaming... so when I say "It was easy for me to quit college because I didn't go where I really wanted to". That's crap. I was the one that chose not to go there. Nobody could make that choice but me. My parents and boyfriend wanted me to go to a community college and I let myself be talked into that. I have to own that. It's not anybody's fault but mine. I have struggled with my weight all my life because I over eat and under exercise. Not because my family eats bad. They can't make me eat what they are eating. I choose to do it.
Give up complaining...know why? It's useless. We usually complain to the wrong person. You come home and complain about work. At work you complain about home. Sure it's easier, but it's stupid. And THAT'S the one I am going to have trouble with this week. Replace complaining with making requests and taking action that will achieve your desired outcomes. Wow, it's that simple.
Time to take inventory... whenever I want to complain, instead I will take action. Starting now.

New Plan

So far, my blog is very, very lame. I have decided I need a project. I'm either not in tune enough with my own thoughts for this or just not interesting enough. I thought about working the 12 steps here and quite frankly I decided I am not brave enough for it. I just talked to a friend of mine about going through Jack Canfield's book The Success Principles... one principle a week so we can really focus on it. Then it came to me... that could be what I blog about. Starting Monday, that will be my focus until I get through all the Principles. Maybe after that I will just be able to write stuff. Maybe.